The Masculinist is for men. But many of you are pastors or have daughters and so maybe in a position where you’re called on to give counsel to women on this same topic. So I’ll give you one simple technique women can use to show a man that she is interested or at least would welcome him talking with her.
Again, it’s intimidating for men to even approach and talk to women, much less to ask them out. They are much more likely to do so if the woman in question has somehow let it be known that this would be welcome. This is the ballet dance of dating. Men are expected to initiate, but generally only after the woman signals that she welcomes it. Realistically most men don’t do too many “cold calls” on women. (For reasons I’ll explore in the future, the ones who do often aren’t great marriage prospects). They wait for some indication of interest first. This is especially true today when men are very sensitive to not wanting to be perceived as making an unwanted advance on a woman.
There are more college-educated single women in New York than there are college-educated men. The sex ratio in the church is even more skewed, especially when you get into the default age range for someone who would date me. So I start out with the numbers very much in my favor. I’m also personally a pretty high-quality product: solid-looking, have a reasonably high-status job, a decent game with women, etc.
Yet in my experience, few women in the Christian settings I’ve been in have given me any indications of interest. This contrasts with women in secular society, who often do give them off. I talked with a Christian friend of mine in New York about this, and he had the same experience. Despite the poor dating ratios in church, Christian women seem to give off fewer indicators of interest to men than non-Christian women do. They are much more likely to be sending out signals that they don’t want to be approached, whether they realize it or not. This may not be universal. But this has been my experience.
So for Christian women who are single and frustrated, one simple way to increase the number of men who show interest in them is to start giving off more explicit indicators of interest themselves.
There’s one very easy way to do this: establish eye contact with the guy in question, then smile. Repeat once if necessary. It’s really that simple. This doesn’t guarantee that he will come to talk to her. But it will significantly increase the odds.
And guys, when she smiles at you after you make eye contact with her, you know what to do.