Using Marketing to Find a “Good Girl”

If you’re a Christian man, it can be hard to find a “good girl” to date in the negative modern world.

My background is in marketing. Before becoming the managing editor here at the Masculinist, I worked in paid media marketing. Paid media marketing is the main form of digital marketing: Facebook and Google Ads. Arguably the most important part of digital marketing is audience targeting. It’s the reason these companies record your data. Getting your ad in front of the ideal audience at the right time is the most important thing you can do for your product. I essentially used those skills to date high quality conservative catholic women in NYC. If I can do it in NYC, you can do it anywhere.

Dating isn’t too dissimilar. Instead of marketing a product, you’re marketing yourself. Putting yourself in front of the right girl at the right time is the most important thing you can do for your dating life.

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I am a thirty-year-old devout conservative Catholic. To quote Aaron, I’m a “based trad Catholic.” Safe to say the dating pool of what I consider to be high-quality women is small. Before I met my now girlfriend, I was able to date plenty of girls that met my criteria. It took a while for me to figure out where to find these girls and what to look for, but eventually, I figured it out. Currently, I’m about to be engaged to a great girl, and hopefully, this post can help other Christian men find great women.

Ideal Audience

In marketing, you need to know exactly who is the ideal customer for your ad. So what we do is make Ideal Customer Profiles of ICPs. ICPs are generally a 1-page description of your ideal customer. It has details such as interests, hobbies, age range, salary range, education level, and many more. I suggest doing something similar to the type of girl you are interested in.

You need to know exactly what type of girl you’re looking for. Or if you not sure, exactly what type of girl you’re not looking for.

“I want to date a good Christian girl” is not specific enough. Frankly, terms like “good” and even “Christian” are vague.

Know exactly what “good” means to you. Is a “good girl” a girl that’s great with kids? Is it a girl who loves to volunteer? Is it a girl who is politically conservative? Also, know exactly what denominations you will or won’t date. I’m Catholic. As much as I respect Protestants, I would never date a protestant girl(I have and that was a lesson I learned). It’s just something I don’t want to deal with in a relationship. Be specific.

“A good Christian girl” is vague and unhelpful. “An Eastern Orthodox Trump supporter who comes from a big family and loves poetry” is much better. Spend some time to know what you do and don’t want. I should add that your description needs to be realistic. Don’t make your description so specific that she doesn’t exist. Keep it to 4-6 key attributes. Some important ones to consider: denomination, age, education, desire for children, and how devout are they.

Often what can be easier when going through this exercise is to figure out what you don’t want. If you haven’t dated a ton it can be hard to know what you want. By carving out what you don’t want in a girl, you can begin to see what you do want.

Have a checklist of red flags and stick to it.

Audience Targeting

After you’ve defined your ideal audience, in marketing you need to learn the ideal place to reach your audience. Do you place your ads on Reddit or Facebook? This is where knowing your audience and doing research is so vitally important. Your ad may be great but if it’s going in front of the wrong people it’s useless. It’s the same for dating. You may be great, but if you’re surrounded by married couples you’re not likely to get a date.

Now that you know exactly what you want. Time to figure out where these girls are. You’ll get terrible advice like, “Go to a good church” and “attend church events.” This is unhelpful advice. Again it’s time to be specific.

You need to find the right church. Not a “good church.” The reason you want the right church is that what you think is a good church and what your ideal audience thinks is a good church is likely completely different. This was very helpful for me to understand. If you don’t know, there are a wide variety of Catholic churches out there. So I couldn’t just go to a good church or a convenient church. I had to go to a conservative church that offered Latin masses. That’s where my ideal audience was.

And this doesn’t just apply to physical locations. Single women want to be found. What dating apps are they using? I had great luck on the very niche CatholicMatch.com. Is there a niche dating app that has the type of women you’re looking for? Do some research and find where your ideal audience spends their time and then go there both physically and on the internet.

Unfortunately, there’s no one-size-fits-all option. Depending on what you’re looking for you could be headed to wildly different areas.

Your Ad

At the end of the day, you can know your audience well and you can know where to find them, but if your ad and product are terrible you’re not going to be making a ton of sales. Or you may only make the first sale. Make sure the product is good.

Ask yourself, are you worth dating? I’ve met a lot of Christian men, and the answer is often no. There are a ton of shmucks out there with gross beards and who can’t hold a conversation let alone frame.

So it is your task to be someone worth dating. If you’re not constantly improving you’re falling behind. This does not mean you need to be the most handsome man in the world to get dates. But a minimal amount of effort can go a long way. You’d be surprised what well-trimmed hair, a button-up shirt, and some cologne will get you. Remember you are the prize.

The early masculinist newsletters cover a lot of this information. If you’re interested in learning more, I’d start there:
How to Maintain Eye Contact
How to Improve Your Posture
Stop Apologizing
International Man of Mystery (aka How to be interesting)
The Basis of Attraction

Creating more content related to dating for Christian men is something we’re working on. There are a lot of resources out there on dating, but they’re mostly for secular men dealing with hook-up culture. If you’re interested in more posts around this topic please leave a comment. Aaron and I can start to prioritize dating content and bringing in experts related to dating if there’s a lot of demand.

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