Some of the things I talk about in this newsletter go against the grain of what is usually taught in our culture and the church.
But often both popular and high culture provide a more accurate take on the truth.
This is one in an occasional series looking at examples of truth about intersexual dynamics revealed in the culture.
The typical Christian man today is likely to talk about how lucky he is to have been able to marry his wife or to date his girlfriend. Or about how he’s not worthy of her, etc.
The 1982 song “You Got Lucky” by Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers presents an opposite take. (Music starts a minute into the video).
The opening lyrics say:
You better watch what you say
You better watch what you do to me
Don’t get carried away
Girl, if you can do better than me, go
Yeah, go but rememberGood love is hard to find
Good love is hard to find
You got lucky, babe
You got lucky, babe, when I found you
It’s great to put a high value on your wife or girlfriend and hold her in esteem.
But too many men don’t recognize their own value.
If you are a basic solid guy - a Christian man with a college degree who doesn’t watch porn, has a job, etc. - then you are a hot commodity yourself.
After all, remember how often you hear the complaints about the lack of good men, about how the church is 60% female, about how women are earning 60% of degrees.
In this tough dating and marriage environment, a quality man such as yourself has a high value.
It may well be that you are lucky to be with her. But she also got lucky when you found her.
Petty’s character in this song understands the truth. Good love really is hard to find. So don’t sell yourself short.
This character also understands that women want to date and marry up. Or at least the certainly don’t want to date down. So the by putting a proper high value on is own marketability, he makes himself more attractive as well.
Note too that he describes himself as the active party. He says, “When I found you” not perhaps the more obvious “when you found me.”
Men would be well served to know that they are often a much higher value dating prospect than they might think, and to think of themselves in an active rather than passive way.